FAITH & FAMILY: Teaching Integrity
Campus by the Sea Blog
Kent and Robin Kraning with their six boys at Campus by the Sea Family Camp, (about) 1999
My Dad grew up in Indiana. As a boy, he and his dad went fishing and hunting often. He recalls one particular day when his dad, my grandpa, made plans to take him fishing in a local pond called Fennel Lake, It wasn’t the first time they had gone together. Dad loved fishing, and any day drowning worms with his dad was a great day. He had been looking forward to this particular day for some time. As they were heading out the door, the phone rang. Grandpa answered; it was the school. He was the principal at what is now Lima Brighton School in Howe, Indiana. Evidently something had gone wrong, and his presence was being requested. My dad heard grandpa begin to argue gently, but firmly, with the person he later learned was the vice principal. Dad could tell the man needed my grandpa to come to the campus and he could feel his day slipping away. Then Grandpa said, “Well, you need to handle this. I made a promise to my son that I would spend this day on the lake with him, and I need to keep that promise. When I return, I will come in immediately.” Then grandpa said goodbye, ending the conversation abruptly. My father walked out the back door with a reassuring smile from his dad as he said, “Let’s get out of here before someone else calls.”
They had a great day on the water! When they returned home, Grandpa dropped dad off and quickly headed for the school. He never knew what happened, what problem needed to be solved or if Grandpa was in trouble for refusing to come in. All he knew was that they had a great day at the lake. I don’t know what that cost Grandpa, but my dad learned two things that day: he was more important to his dad than the job, and Grandpa was a man who would keep his word even if it cost him.
In Psalm 15:4 David says, a man of God “keeps his oath even when it hurts.” That was Grandpa and that became my dad. In many families, a little boy and fishing would fall second to career and responsibilities, becoming a lesson that a child must learn – to understand the importance of Dad’s job. To my grandfather, however, of far greater importance was the lesson of integrity. A child will never forget when a dad breaks his promise – no matter what the reason. My dad and my grandpa had many days of good fishing, but that day he kept his promise is one my dad would never forget.
The dictionary defines integrity as an adherence to moral and ethical principles, the soundness of moral character. It’s a word that assumes a solid and sure foundation; something well built from the start. Integrity is manifested when moral standards and guidelines are adhered to, even in the secret places when no one is watching, and no one will know. C.S. Lewis said it this way, “Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.”
As parents it would be unwise to leave the learning of integrity to chance. We need to decide what we intend to pass on to our children and then live it. We can’t expect from our children what we are unwilling to live out ourselves. Then, regardless of how our children choose to walk, we still need to walk with integrity, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his way crooked will be found out” (Proverbs 10:9, ESV).
Kent Kraning is a speaker for Campus by the Sea’s Family Camp. He serves as the Marriage and Senior Ministry Pastor at Friends Church Yorba Linda. He is married to Robin and together than have raised six boys. This excerpt is from his book “Dirt Grenades,” an engaging parenting guide that uses personal stories to communicate biblical parenting principles that strike at the heart of what Christian parents want to instill in their kids.
Source:
Kraning, Kent, “Chapter Two: Be What You Seem.” Dirt Grenades: And Other Explosive Parenting Moments, Our Six Sons Publishing, 2019 pp 23-26.